What It Is

Yesterday I was reading the post of a friend. She had been sent a message from a stranger, one that contained a declaration just short of mad love. She posted the message, and as I read it, it left me thinking for the rest of yesterday and today. I wondered as I read it, is this how I sound, like some fantasy filled woman filled with preconceived notions about another. Doubt swept over me. I was filled with the thought that all of this would have been best left on the private pages of a journal, never to be found. That is, of course, where it started. I have often wondered if you have been here, why I would think you would, I don’t know. Deep in my heart I hoped and yet worried that perhaps you would walk away, feeling the emotions I felt as I read the unsolicited note my friend received.

There is part of me that wants to explain all of this to you, from the beginning, so that you can understand what it is I feel and why. Then I think you would at least know it is not some silly flight of fancy, or some strange obsession. I want to you know that what I feel is for all the right reasons, not for the reasons some would assume.

As I write this, I am, of course, not finding the words I need to capture what I truly want to say. As I find them I will continue to put them here. Once again, there are no poetic lines, just things I need to say.

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3 thoughts on “What It Is

  1. Are you worried about something..? Dont worry dear..

    http://4mgiselle.wordpress.com

    It’s terribly hard for me to express what I feel. I’ve not had a good history of responses. I’m certain what I write here is fine and that it is probably received well, but every so often doubt creeps in.

  2. Your words bring calmness to the heart and soul. I have been there; oftentimes still there. My thoughts remain in my mind – I dare not have the courage to write them all. I do hope that you continue to share them as they bring renowed courage and above all else knowing of love. PLL, CordieB.
    ***********************************************************************
    I will continue to write them as deep within me I am told it is the right thing to do. It is hard for me to express those things and I have had encouragement that the one the words are for has been to this site. It is always more difficult for me to say the words when I know they are actually being heard. Sounds silly I suppose but I think were meant to be said.

  3. keep the doubts at bay.. dont let them enter your mind. .coz’ when you are able to talk your heart out or atleast anonymously put them down.. thats when you feel such immense relief that you feel you should have done this before itself!!!

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