Yesterday I was reading the post of a friend. She had been sent a message from a stranger, one that contained a declaration just short of mad love. She posted the message, and as I read it, it left me thinking for the rest of yesterday and today. I wondered as I read it, is this how I sound, like some fantasy filled woman filled with preconceived notions about another. Doubt swept over me. I was filled with the thought that all of this would have been best left on the private pages of a journal, never to be found. That is, of course, where it started. I have often wondered if you have been here, why I would think you would, I don’t know. Deep in my heart I hoped and yet worried that perhaps you would walk away, feeling the emotions I felt as I read the unsolicited note my friend received.
There is part of me that wants to explain all of this to you, from the beginning, so that you can understand what it is I feel and why. Then I think you would at least know it is not some silly flight of fancy, or some strange obsession. I want to you know that what I feel is for all the right reasons, not for the reasons some would assume.
As I write this, I am, of course, not finding the words I need to capture what I truly want to say. As I find them I will continue to put them here. Once again, there are no poetic lines, just things I need to say.